Saturday, September 17, 2011

Crabs in a Bucket

Asalamu Alaykom,

This is why I falter in my Islam:

My blog gets mentioned by a sister who was trying to prove a point about making hijrah.  She referenced me and another one.

Normally, I would feel a kind of happiness that a sister found what I wrote to be worth passing on to others.

However, a brother thought differently.  It might even be the anonymous brother who tried to challenge me in my comments section.  Allahu alim.  The brother wasn't pleased with my efforts.  He wrote:

Sister, I think you need to see for yourself what is in the second website. I know you linked it because its supposedly written by an American revert living in Egypt, but some of the things written there are pure garbage. I'm not going to repost anything written there but you should check it out before recommending it.

And then when she came back to say that she mentioned it for the hijrah referrences, he decided to lash out again:

There is nothing helpful or practical in regards to Hijrah from what I saw, only ramblings from an obviously confused individual making dangerous statements which called into question the state of her Islam.

So, I've now joined their forum and written the moderators that this speech, while free, is devoid of adab Muslim ettiquette.  He is questioning whether or not I really am Muslim.  He calls my efforts garbage.  He name calls and ridicules.  And of course lobs the big one:  I might be a bad Muslim.



I don't like Muslims who do these things.  They have lost something along the a heart connection to others.  He wants to "out" me as a suspect Muslim; somebody who isn't really like him (because of course he's better than me).  No, I don't want Muslims like this to rule over me, my thoughts or my words.

I had a choice tonight.  I could have read his attack and slunk silently away.  Instead, I chose to publish what's going on. 

There was another time on the 'net when a fellow blogger wanted to "out" me as a bad Muslim.  It really hurt at the time because I had prayed for this woman's sanity and for the safety of her children.  I had spent countless hours being her friend---no, really her sister.  In the end, she walked away from a lot of what I still hold on to.  I don't blame her yet she blamed me.  How could I keep talking about Islam if I wasn't a better Muslim? 

Better than whom?

Is there some kind of test I need to take in order to speak about Islam?  Islam is the perfect religion for imperfect people. I have never ever claimed to be a the perfect Muslim.

Is there some special formula I need to calculate with the right amount of hadiths per square inch?  That's not how I roll.

I am who I am. 

I was created by Allah.

I am here for purposes which no one else can perform except me.

I might as well keep doing what makes sense to me, even if it doesn't make sense to others.

I'll tell you what:  my biggest troubles over the years haven't been between me and Allah; they've been between me and other people.  I am the saddest when I realize how many Muslims continue to disparage other Muslims; to be the crabs in the barrel who keep crawling on top of the others (thus pulling everyone down).

It makes me sad until I remember that I'm not a slave to them and their whims.  I'm a servant of The Almighty.  Really!  You seriously can't question this unless you want to sound like an idiot. 

There was a battle raging and an enemy soldier was at the end of a sword held by the sahabi; Companions of The Prophet (pbuh).  The enemy soldier said, "There is no other God than God and Muhammad is a Messenger."  That's the shahaddah; the Muslim oath of faith.  It's simple.  It's succinct.  Yet, the man was killed because the Muslim soldier didn't believe him.

What did The Prophet say?

You killed a believer.  Never doubt the oath.

"I testify that there is no other God than God and that Muahammad is a Messenger."


Whether I'm good or bad is not for you to judge.  Being a judge of my faith makes you as bad as the sahabi who was chastised by Rasullulah (pbuh).  Being a judge of my faith actually makes you guilty of shirk because you are acting as if you have some kind of power akin to God.  Astragferallah.  Let go that assumed responsibility.

There's room in the world for all kinds of messengers of Islam.  There are so many different cultures and languages, experiences and expectations.  Go ahead and be one kind of messenger.  I'll be a different kind.  We can spread Islam in ways which reach more minds and hearts. 

Why be scared that my message is wrong?  If it's wrong for you, maybe it is right for someone else.

Can I truly ever damage Islam with who I am and what I say?  Then your vision of Islam is limited---very, very limited.



Bonnie said...

Salaams sister, just remember that this isn't about YOU, it's about HIM and his need to belittle someone who he doesn't even know. Anyone with an ounce of intelligence could read your blog and find the beauty in it. Don't let him weigh down your heart with resentment, after all that is probably his goal.

Yosra said...

Asalamu Alaykom Bonnie,

Thank you for your words. I appreciate what you've said.

MarieHarmony said...

Yosra, I would agree with Bonnie. No one is perfect and the ones who judge definitely are the ones who should look at the state of their faith first.
I find a lot of wisdom and beauty in your posts. Trust God and don't feel bad about this. His comments are not worth it.
Take care

Jaime Brown said...

What started as me stumbling upon your blog by accident (actually, no...of course it wasn't an accident) has turned into me being your biggest cheerleader.

I applaud you for every keystroke you've typed on this blog. People are so quick to forget that this is YOUR blog, full of your thoughts, opinions, stories, anecdotes, Quran verses, questions, defenses, and reflections.

Nobody is forced at gunpoint to type your site into their address bar. People that have nothing better to do than insult your opinions and observations aught to spend a little less time online and a little more time reviewing the basics of Islam.

You are not perfect, nor have you ever claimed to be. Your purpose here is not to be the female version of the Prophet (pbuh). You are opening the eyes, ears, and possibly hearts of so many people and essentially planting a seed for new growth.

This is clear to anyone who has a slight amount of intelligence.

If "Anonymous" doesn't like it, he can anonymously discontinue to log on to your site. Perhaps he should bury his head in the Quran and not your life.

Keep posting, keep being you, and keep KEEPIN' IT REAL!

Sending my love,

H said...

Salaam sister,

It doesn't matter what they think. No one can deny that you are a Muslim and iA an awesome one. Allah is our only judge. I find your posts very inspiring and, for lack of a better word, very human--not idealist and unreal.

Personally, I have seen members of that particular forum attack some well-known Muslim scholars in the West and I'm not surprised they attacked you. There is a sick black and white, us vs. them mentality among many muslims. Just keep doing what you feel is right for you sister.

I will make dua for you, your family, and your readers; please make dua for me as well.

egyptchick said...

Yo habipty!!! You do not need to waste your words and space on your blog by responding to the their hate on that forum. I am sure you saw that he quoted something from your blog that is a thought derived from peace and love and twisted it into so much hate it's sickening.

These people do not live in the real world. This real and diverse and beautiful world. They live in the world of actual violent jihad...whatever you know the rest....

Don't be bothered by them...To cheer you up, there's this wonderful documentary from HBO I know you would really like called "Koran by Heart"

That's the link and it shows the true peace loving Muslims (except the thoughts of one radical father but whatever...


Anonymous said...

Please do not be worried by the comments of others. InshAllah your reward lies with Allah the Almighty, ultimately we all return to Him (SWT) and each of us will be judged. Take heart in the fact Allah knows you & your intentions better than anyone else & sometimes we are put in situation to test our resolve.

People should reflect on their own actions and behaviours before they comment about others.